Back to Blogging (maybe...)

Don't take my word on that as I am known to disappear from this space for long periods of time. But right now I feel the need to update this little corner of the internet.

I have so much to say but not enough energy to put it all out there so I will share the Cliffnotes of my life with you...

Ava and I have left my family, friends, and job and recently moved down South, Charleston, SC, to be exact. It wasn't an easy decision but after many e-mails with her dad discussing the realities of long distance co parenting we decided to just dive right in and embrace parenting to the full extent. Why did Ava and I have to relocate instead of the other way around? Well, her dad just started his career as a fire fighter down here and I couldn't say no to the warm weather.

So here we are, a month in and I am not going to lie, things aren't easy. I guess I should explain the logistics. Her dad and I are not together and our goal is not to rekindle a romance. We simply want to be Ava's mom and dad. So at the moment we are living together in a 3 bedroom home, each with our own room. I am not working, but actively looking for a job. Ava's dad's schedule is 24 hours on, 48 off, which leaves plenty of "family" time. But because I am not working and there are bills to pay he picked up a second job. More often then not it is just Ava and I. Don't get me wrong, I love every second with my growing baby (toddler! but I don't want to admit it yet), but I am a little let down at the lack of CO parenting.

Right before moving down here I envisioned what life would be like now that I would have a partner to share all of this with, but to be 100% percent honest, I had more "me" time when I was living at home with my parents. This is so complex and there is so much to consider that I honestly don't know how I feel about everything right now. There is a lot more to say about all of this, but I am going to be vague for now.

Life would be so easy if we cared for each other enough to make it work as a couple, but that isn't where we are right now. And a good friend pointed out to me that I shouldn't settle for someone I didn't really love (a true reminder).

So now what? I have no idea. I am beginning to think I may have bitten off more than I can chew....



But I do it all for this little face.

Our Little Family Vacation

A few weeks ago Ava and I flew down to Charleston, SC to enjoy a little vacation with her grandparents and her dad. It was so nice to get away from the gloomy Ohio weather and spend some time on the beach. We were only there a few days and to be honest I didn't want to leave the sunshine. It was a very short trip but totally worth it because now Ava can look back at the photos and see that her Dad and I worked together to give her a true family vacation.

Ava's first time in the ocean!

I am completely in love with these photos of Ava and her Grandpa. How cute are they?? She definitely takes after that side of the family...

Playing with her dad...

This is the only picture of the 3 of us together (very strange...)

Overall the vacation was fun and I'm glad Ava got to see her Dad and his parents.

This weekend we are headed to a very small town in Kentucky for the Cyrus Family Reunion (yes, as in Miley). I am excited to show off my little Ava and eat some fried chicken. And in ONE WEEK we will be in New York City!! Eeek! I am so excited. Oh, and I'll also be 24 in one week! This is a great start to the summer.

xoxo

P.S. Ava turned 9 months on Tuesday!! My baby girl is growing so fast. I'll do a post on that later. There is so much to share.

Dear Blog,

I am sorry for my lack of posts. Has it really been 2 months?? Where does the time go? I promise I think of you everyday. I am constantly making mental notes of all the things I should post (Ava updates, fashion inspiration, pretty pictures...) and yet when I am given the time to sit down and write I choose to read all my favorite blogs instead. And then before I know it, my short window of free time is gone.

Forgive me as I am still trying to balance everything out as a single mom with a part time job. I can't even imagine how so many moms (single or married) go back to work or school full time so soon after having a baby. They are truly super moms. Let's not forget the stay at home moms who somehow manage to fight off boredom everyday by creating a fun routine with their little ones. I am stuck in an in between universe where I work 4 hours everyday but still must find little things for Ava and I to do so we don't get stuck in a boredom rut. I am still working on that. The weather has not been kind to us here in Ohio and we didn't see sunshine for days at a time. But May is here now and the sun is shining and the park is calling our names (but so is the shower and the grocery store and dirty dishes and the breakfast I have yet to eat...).

ANYWAYS....

This was meant to just be a quick post to say hello and give you a few little updates...So here we go...

Ava will be 9 months old later this month. Where did the time go?? You know all those moms who tell you to soak it all up because time flies?? Well, I have truly listened to their advice and I have a confession to make. Since I have started working back in January, Ava has only napped in my arms. I never lay her down. I know that might sound crazy because nap time is usually the time most moms use to get things done around the house. Not me. I use that time as an excuse to lay on the couch and relax with my little Ava and I wouldn't have it any other way. And later on in life I can truly say that I soaked up that time with my sweet baby girl.

Ava LOVES daycare now. She used to hate it and it killed me. But now she is always so happy when I drop her off and pick her up. And I love the women who take care of Ava. They are all so sweet and patient with all the kiddos. And I can see that Ava is developing little social skills. I am so happy that she is embracing the world around her.

We are headed to South Carolina on Thursday and I cannot wait to sit on the beach. I am so excited for Ava to dig her toes in the sand and woo everyone around her in her little green striped swimsuit. Her dad's parents have a time share down there and asked us to join them on their vacation. Her dad will be with us on the weekend and we will have a full on "family" vacation. I am excited to give Ava this experience. While her dad and I are not together romantically we are doing our best to be together as her mother and father and when she older she can look back at the photos of our first family vacation.

Shortly after we return from the beach, Ava and I will be heading to New York City (!!!!!). Words cannot express how excited I am. While this visit will be drastically different then my past experiences in NYC (hello? I have a baby now) I know I will have more fun this time around. No more late night drunken taxi rides. No, no. Hello daytime picnics in the park with my bestest of friends and maybe a glass of champagne here and there. This trip is hands down the best birthday present (thanks Miss Katie!).

OKOK. This post is soooo long now. I'm wrapping it up with some new photos of Ava...




She is so cute it kills me sometimes.

xoxo

Dreaming of Warmer, Dryer Days

It's cold and rainy here but it hasn't stopped me from daydreaming of warmer days and pedicures. A few days ago Melissa from Dear Baby tweeted a picture of her wearing the cutest pair of shoes. She highly recommended them for their comfort. The woman is my idol, she is 31 weeks pregnant, has a toddler, and manages to look great and wear 3 inch wedges while doing it all. Amazing. Well, now I am obsessed with those shoes and looking for a similar (cheaper) pair...

Melissa modeling the shoe:

The shoe...

Here are 3 similar pairs (all under $30, from Forever 21)...

These are shoes I would usually overlook, but part of me is ready to get out of my comfort zone of simple flats and sandals. I think this style is the way to go. What do you think??

Girlfriends and Bad Pop Songs

I've been missing my close girlfriends like crazy lately. Most of them live on the East Coast and our doing amazing things. We talk almost everyday and I wish we lived closer so we could see each other regularly. I am reminded of them and all the fun times we had on a daily basis. Usually the memories hit me when I am flipping through the local radio stations on my way to work and a really bad pop song comes on. Apparently my friends and I (sometimes) listen to really bad music. Think Kelly Clarkson's Since You've Been Gone and any Kanye song.

I remember when I was living in Brooklyn my friend Cadi and I would BLAST Since You've Been Gone and scream and jump around our tiny apartment that we shared with 3 guys. It was ridiculous and so much fun. We looked like fools and we loved it. Here is a picture of Cadi (the blond), myself (the tan one), and a few of our other lady friends. We were a tattooed, wing eating, pink champagne drinking group of ladies. I miss that summer.


My best friend, another Katie (different spelling) loved to make fun playlists for our weekend nights. We were roommates for 2 years so there are a lot of songs that remind me of her. One that always makes me laugh is a ridiculous song by the Gym Class Hero's called Cookie Jar. Katie would always do this silly dance but she somehow made it look cool.


Another best friend I miss everyday is Alyse. Alyse is CRAZY and that's why I love her. My favorite memory of Alyse was from New Years 2006. She came home with me for break that year and we partied here in Columbus. We drove around blasting a band named Adult and then went to a party on OSU campus. It was a riot. We walked around taking Polaroids of everything because we were sooooo coool.

(look at her shoes!)

These ladies (and others) have so much to do with who I am today. I can't wait until I see them again so we can drink cheap champagne and eat greasy pizza.

xoxo

A Quick Visit

Ava's Papa came for a very short visit this weekend. He is hoping to make it up here at least once a month to see little Ava. We were able to take a few photos while he was here...

Smushed nose kisses....

The little photo shoot didn't last too long. Ava was ready for a nap and Papa was sad he had to leave.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I am seriously considering moving to Charleston, SC once Ava's dad finishes the Fire Fighting Academy. While I want Ava to be around her grandparents and her aunts I know that it is more important for her to be around her Dad. Plus it would help to have a partner in all of this. I realize that when he is around I get a little more "me" time. I was able to do little things like paint my nails, sip my coffee, flip through magazines, style my hair....

We have no intention of exploring our relationship romantically (been there, done that, didn't work out...) but we know that we have to do what is best for Ava and being in the same city and working together as her Mother and Father is definitely the best scenario.

He doesn't finish school until July so I have plenty of time to think this over and figure it all out. There is definitely a lot to think about....

Happy Monday!

No Offense....

...but these shoes are just a little too loud...

via ModCloth